So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
