idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
