Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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