You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
