I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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