quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
