Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
