Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
