Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
