this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
