There was a lot of him and a little penis
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize