apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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