kristin has been a bad kristin
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
