It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
