he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
