I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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