But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
