i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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