Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
