Me too!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
