He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
