Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
