is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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