update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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