he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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