I'm pants shitting drunk right now
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
