she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize