So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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