I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
