Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
