I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
