Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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