Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
