I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
