Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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