I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
