I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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