I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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