we have pet lesbian snakes
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We were destined to go to rehab together
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
