does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
