They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
