forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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