i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
