its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize