I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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