Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
