seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
