Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
