Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
