He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
