how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
