Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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