peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
