Someone shit on the floor
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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