when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
