Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
