why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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