God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
