i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
