upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
