normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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