If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
