And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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