we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
