I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
